Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My ten Lebowski Fest wishes for 2010

All of us Achievers were spoiled in 2009.
Never before have there been as many Fests.
We don't know if a year like 2009 will ever be repeated.

It's a natural, zesty feeling, to want more...
In that free spirit, are my top ten Lebowski Fest wishes for 2010.

10. I remember the ticket that I want, avoid the ticket I don't
So I was about four and half hours into my six hour drive last July when I realized I left my tickets back at home... Oh, and this was after I had already received a ticket - for speeding - from an Indiana State Trooper.

9. The Garden Party moves back to the garden
I think I can rationalize why the 8th Annual Garden (a.k.a. pre-bowling) Party was held in the parking lot instead of where it was held the year before... Both locations have their advantages, but I just personally prefer to have grass under my feet than asphalt.

8. Michael Jackson, again, at the After Party dance
It was very apt for the time. Jacko was reckently gone and we were all justly wacko. Even though his passing will be well over a year old, I hope there is still a healthy amount of Michael Jackson (we're talking Rock With You, not just Billie Jean and Thriller) fueling our awful dancing well past 2 am.

7. I meet, and hang out with, "The Bereaved"

One of the best parts of attending a Lebowski Fest is the post-party photo debriefing. It's impossible to catch all that is going on, and you must rely on the photos posted from other perspectives. Of all that I missed, it was the foursome that I regretted the most not meeting. (For the record, I think there is a Dude missing in the above picture - I think it was two girls and two guys) Not only did they show up as "The Bereaved" for the Movie Party, but one of them became one of the most photographed Bunnies in recent memory. (Probably due to her bikini and penchant for having others blow on her toenail polish) And from what I gathered from the pictures they posted, they hit the fest running and were long term thinking marathon party people. I will be trying to introduce myself to them soon.

6. Achiever "Marty" makes the Final Round in Lebowski Trivia

Now this guy I did meet, and spoke to (although briefly) at the 8th Annual. I was very impressed with his knowledge of all things Lebowski and sensed his disappointment when he didn't advance as far as he wanted to in the Trivia competition. It was his first Fest, and it's always difficult for rookies to predict what kinds of questions are thrown at them in a competition not for amateurs. I hope he shows up again, and I think he'll be more ready than most to tackle the competition. I'll be rooting for him.

5. A perfect game is rolled at a Bowling Party
It's going to happen, eventually. It has progressively taken a better score to win the "Best Bowler" trophy at a Lebowski Fest. Yes, the conditions are far from perfect to yield a perfect score. There will be lane overcrowding, frequent distractions, copious amounts of Kahlua. When it happens, the roller will become an instant Legend.

4. Lebowski Fest ventures to Las Vegas

I don't know why the Vegas stop of the 2009 Speed of Sound Tour was canceled. Las Vegas will always be a historically important locale for Lebowski Fest - it hosted the first non-Louisville Fest. It's also the most likely destination that yours truly will fly to in order to attend a Fest.

3. Vaughn returns to exact revenge

With all due respect to the Best Costume winner at the 8th Annual, it has to be considered an upset. This man Vaughn is a living legend when it comes to complex high quality thought provoking costumes at Lebowski Fests. No one can predict what his next costume will be - we can only hope we can see it with our own eyes.

2. Lebowski Fest hits SXSW

Welcome to the first of two utter fantasies, to call them a "wish" is an understatement. Lebowski Fest was at 2009's Bonnaroo. The Fest has also been to Austin, Texas multiple times. Is it too far outside our frame of refrence to think they might one day end up at the SXSW festival? (A festival, like Bonnaroo, that has also added a movie/cinema element?)

1. John Turturro reunites with Jim Hoosier

If Jeff Bridges was able to make it to a Lebowski Fest, why not Mr. Turturro? Although I also would love to see a John Goodman or a Julianne Moore at a Fest - a special piece of my heart wants to see "Liam" (a frequent, beloved, guest at Lebowski Fests) partnered up again with "The Jesus." Doesn't the thought of it bring a smile to your soul?

Just so everyone knows: I have zero authority with any Lebowski Fest decision making. I'm just a lowly Achiever who asked the Founding Dudes if I could aimlessly write on their website. Obviously some of these wishes are very possible, and some are extremely unlikely... But that's my list. 2009 shattered everyone's expectations on what Lebowski Fest can produce - let's not have our dreams as constrained. Our dreams and wishes should be as limber as possible.

Happy Holidays Achievers! I wish you more strikes than gutters in the upcoming New Year.[TQ]

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Awh! Jesus--what's that smell, man?

Did a vagrant sleep in your car?
Maybe use it as a toilet?

The newest item at's pro shop can help you.

I haven't been able to confirm this - but I'm suspecting the Research and Development for this item came from the LAPD Crime Lab.[TQ]

Thursday, December 3, 2009

For those that have balls, and those that don't

My apolgogies for my absence.
I was on vacation in Vegas.
Yes, it included an In-N-Out stop.
But there's another thing that Vegas boasts:
Beautiful women.
None, sadly, are special lady friends.
Which brings me to this shirt.
That's marvelous.
Get it for someone who's strongly vaginal.
Get it for your free spirited friend.
Even if she's not yet special.
Perhaps for "fun and games?"
Or a chance at conception?
What do you have to lose?
$18, I guess.
That's exactly how much Donny had when he died.

Ball shammy.
For polishing.
It will cause envy.
Possibly, a date for Wednesday.
With that aforementioned SLF?
Use both hands.
Pump vigorously.
After polishing belly-shake optional.
Liam endorses it.
Hear it for yourself.
Only $15!



Happy Happies to all.[TQ]

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

The Dude Marked It!

I happen to own a bowling pin.
It's well documented.

Don't be.
Get one.
<-- This pin.

My pin,
which is NOT autographed by Jeff Bridges,
cost me $1.

<-- This pin is free.
Yours to win.
The official rules were posted.
Don't bother calling Burkhalter.

Not very long story shorter:
Watch The Achievers: The Story of Lebowski Fans
Answer the ten questions
Earn yourself a chance at the Pin.[TQ]

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Start conceiving!

Please note I have absolutely zero authority in regards to the scheduling of Lebowski Fests.
However, I do pay attention...
Many of the "Annual" Fests occur in July.
The next Louisville Fest will be the 9th Annual.
July is 9 months away.
It takes 9 months, normally, to bring a pregnancy to term.

Start trying to help your Special Lady Friend Conceive![TQ]

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

An Interesting Costume Trend of the Lebowski Fest Speed of Sound Tour

It finally dawned on me.
Just now.

"Oh man, my thinking about this case, had become very uptight. Yeah."

It began back in Los Angeles (fittingly enough) when a man dressed up as Bunny:

And then, the Achiever Women responded!
2009, on a personal level, will be the year of the Shesus.
A woman won Best Jesus in Minneapolis.
Another girl made us all wish we had a date on Wednesday:

(Oh, and don't forget the Shomer Shabb-ASS of Wham Bam Pam's Walter Sobchick)

Today, while looking at the pics from Lebowski Fest D.C. - another first:

That's marvelous.
I don't know who this Jackie Feehorn is, but I certainly hopes she treats objects like men, WOMAN![TQ]

Friday, September 25, 2009

A Tubbed Dude

I literally said aloud, "wow" when I first saw this picture.
The creativity of Achievers never fails to impress me.
Especially when I think I've seen it all before, this Dude in NY totally (and thankfully) proves me wrong:

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hidden sound system playing Songs of the Whale.[TQ]

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Calmer than you are

Walters came in all shapes, sizes, and genders to the second Bowling Party in Chicago.[TQ]

Best Jesus at Lebowski Fest Chicago Bowling Night 2: The Duel!

The "Best Jesus" from the First Lebowski Fest in Chicago (March 2008) was not exactly a lightweight. You can see his antics prominently showcased in Eddie Chung's The Achievers.

When he strutted (and he most certainly had the Quintana walk perfected) into Diversey River Bowl to defend his title, I don't think he expected the competition to be as good - or as sexy:

Maria May I, did win over the crowd (and me as well), but sadly finished as the runner up. Thankfully for us all, it didn't stop her from dancing.

If you thought these moves were good - I implore you to catch one of the two newly added performances of "Rollin' Outta Here Naked" by Vaudezilla (including this very same Jesus)![TQ]

Liam shakes his belly in Chicago!

Jim Hoosier (LIAM!) graced Chicago with his presence throughout all 3 nights of Lebowski Fest Chicago 2009. I was lucky to get his belly shaking tutorial on video during the second Bowling Party:


Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Wii at LF

Who will win tonight?

Red Hot Annie, pictured on the far right, won "Best Maude" last night.

Bowling Night 2 is hours away

Monday, September 14, 2009

Perfect Strangers

Fun Fact: the ABC sitcom Perfect Strangers took place in Chicago
(balki not pictured)


You gotta take this picture from the proper angle.

One of the best girl Dudes ever

Notice the beeper, bag phone, and Bobby pin.

The Kneutsens found Fawn

Jim's lapel

Vaginal roll


Oh, so you're Bunny

Bowling party has begun!(TQ)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

New achievers

Myles and Bree were originally not going to the bowling party. But
they had so much fun they'll be throwing rocks on Tuesday. (TQ)

You got a date Wednesday, baby!

The Portage Theater, where the Movie just ended, will host another
screening of CHUNG's documentary.

Liam is here.

"Nixon Gutter" from the forum. Paul is a packer fan and is a constant
reminder that I'm missing the Bear game.

I am here, and so is the press

Scott here too.
I think they're filming Logjammin' two.

Let's take that hill!

Before I tear myself away from NFL's opening Sunday to make my way to
the Movie Party I wanted to make sure I set up the mobile blog
function correctly.

Looks like it's working as good as a Swiss Fuckin' Watch. (TQ)

Minneapolis was the Moment, Chicago is now the Current

The Dude (Tom from Indy) has been extremely quick getting pictures uploaded to facebook.
How proud we are of all of his efforts...

Here's my favorite "costume/idea" from the past two days (judging only on what pictures I have seen)

This idea is the essence of Lebowski Fest.
The Movie,
The Bowling,
The Party,
The Bands,
The Special Guests,
The What-Have-You really aren't the attractions:
The Achievers are the attraction.

The founding Dudes are on record saying this...

This concept, like the "Best Costume" from the 7th Annual in Louisville, brings everyone into the party as participants and not just attendees/spectators.

(This is me able to be a "co-star in the Beaver Picture")
On a bonus level, both these concepts allow people who aren't in a costume to participate in one.
That's Marvelous.

It's also the metaphysics the 7:11 Crew, who have won Best Group Costume in Louisville two years in a row, have slyly used by engaging other Achievers from convincing them to take off their clothes for Treehorn Productions or enroll their offspring into Quintana Child Care.

Before I end this post and attempt to get some sleep before Lebowski Fest Chicago, here are some of my choice selections from the most recent Fest in Minneapolis:

I only posted a small sampling of the album recently posted on facebook because I didn't want to appear as redundant as Brandt.[TQ]

Friday, September 11, 2009

So you missed Lebowski Fest Denver?

Lebowski Fest Denver is done.
Did you miss it?
Don't worry.
There's still more stops left on the Speed of Sound Tour.
Is it coming to a town near you?
It is in the Twin Cities tonight and tomorrow.

After reviewing some of the pictures, I quickly found a favorite:

Woo! You don't see too many Achievers dressing up as him at Lebowski Fest.
Well done Stranger.

And now, a couple more pictures from Denver:

I'll be wearing a Lebowski Podcast T-Shirt on Sunday in Chicago.
I hope to meet you.[TQ]

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Throwin' Rocks near the Rockies

According to this picture's caption, this gang got together at 6:45 AM to bowl.
This either means last night's LF-Denver movie party was off the charts awesome (even for an LF)...
or it might have been another zany local morning zoo stunt.

Early bowling is not uncommon for Achievers.
Just ask the 7:11 Crew who woke up early during the 7th Annual's festivities.
They bowled in the background of the local Fox station's morning news show.
That sunrise bowl that featured a Pleaseeasaur monster:

No offense to above Abominable Marmot (or whatever that is, I'm not a park ranger), but the Denver Bowl had a better bowler to feature:

That's Holly.
She brought her dog bowling.
And she's no fuckin' amateur.

I met her last July.
She made the trek out to Louisville.
Here's her with her special man friend Cody:

There's a real touching story of these two that was featured shortly into the Lebowski Podcast's 8th Annual Review. It's just after I'm done sounding like a drunken Christopher Walken and before all the controversy. (if you are curious what the controversy was, check out the most recent podcast)[TQ]

Liam n' [YOU!]


He will be at all three nights of Lebowski Fest Chicago!

When you think of Chicago, you can think of:
The Loop, the name of Chicago's downtown
Illinois, the State that proudly calls it home.
Adler Planetarium.*
The Magnificent Mile, that had three blocks closed to traffic these last two days in order for Oprah to hold a party.

If Jim Hoosier wanted to, he could belly shake Oprah into oblivion!

(*a close runner up for "A" was The Army Corps of Engineers, who successfully reversed the flow of the Chicago River.)[TQ]

Monday, August 31, 2009

Lebowski Fest Chicago is Growing

I just found out, thanks to the Lebowski Podcast's Chalupa, the latest example of how Chicago is embracing the soon to arrive Speed of Sound Tour.

-It starts with a screening of The Achievers: The Story of Lebowski Fans on Thursday September 10.

-Don't forget out about Rolling Outta Here Naked: A Big Lebowski Burlesque every Saturday in September.

-Obviously, the official Lebowski Fest Movie Party is Sunday September 13.

Check out what's happening just before the first Bowling Party starts!

Here's my official recommendation for how you should RSVP:


Sunday, August 23, 2009

Very free-spirited

Lebowski Fest Chicago officially takes place Sunday September 13 - Tuesday September 15.
However, there's much more to do in the area if you are an Achiever in Chicago that weekend.
The Thursday prior to LF-Chicago, September 10, a special screening of The Achievers will play at the Portage Theater.

The Portage Theater, located on Milwaukee Ave in the great city of Chicago, is also the location of the official Lebowski Fest Chicago Movie Party on Sunday September 13.
However, something a lot more... revealing... is occurring just down the street from the Portage at Gorilla Tango Theater.

"Rolling Outta Here Naked: A Big Lebowski Burlesque" by the Achievers at Vaudezilla is the perfect pre-party for Lebowski Fest Chicago.

I am very excited to report that this crew is scheduled to appear before the movie is screened at the Movie Party. I asked one of the organizers, Red Hot Annie for some more info and she told me that they are doing a "handful of acts" from their show. Don't be fatuous, I don't think she was being literal with her word choice. But here are five reasons why you shouldn't settle for just their appearance during the Movie Party.

5: I'm not the only one with this opinion. They have recently received mentions from NBC Chicago and Centerstage along with their peers at Burlesque Baby and Candy Pitch. This review from Chicago Reader is hot off the figurative press!

4: There is just one Movie Party and two Bowling Parties with the Founding Dudes, but four chances to see "Rolling Out of Here Naked: A Big Lebowski Burlesque." You can catch it every Saturday in September at Gorilla Tango Theater. The opening show of Saturday September 3 is nearly sold out! Yours truly will be in attendance at the September 10th performance and I highly suspect their Portage Theater appearance will make the last two shows a sought after scene.

3: You are not dealing with a bunch of fucking amateurs here. Check out to see what else they have done. Now it's tough for me to attribute any level of legitimate opinion to a burlesque show. With the exception of a 15 minute underwhelming performance at the now defunct Tangerine Nightclub (which was located inside Treasure Island, Las Vegas), I haven't had any exposure to the artform. That being said, these people have made a believer out of me. Here's a picture of Wham Bam Pam and Red Hot Annie showing off their costume prep progress:

2: Their level of dedication is beyond your average Achiever. At my last Lebowski Fest in Louisville there were a couple people dressed up as Marty the Landlord. But did any of them make the follicle commitment of a Mr. Dick Dijon?

1: Maria May I.

The first I heard of these performances was when Dick Dijon posted that above poster on the Achiever Forum. He was smart to mention that The Woman Behind the Ball was Maria May I, and that she was in fact performing in the show. Without the help of a Brother Shamus, relying on my powers of logic and deduction (not to mention a junior high quality crush) I was able to find Maria May I's blog, and thankfully received permission to use the above purple jumpsuited picture.

On a personal level, I hope to see a lot of Achievers alongside me at Gorilla Tango Theater as we help make September official Lebowski Month in Chicago.