For those that have balls, and those that don't

My apolgogies for my absence.
I was on vacation in Vegas.
Yes, it included an In-N-Out stop.
But there's another thing that Vegas boasts:
Beautiful women.
None, sadly, are special lady friends.
Which brings me to this shirt.
That's marvelous.
Get it for someone who's strongly vaginal.
Get it for your free spirited friend.
Even if she's not yet special.
Perhaps for "fun and games?"
Or a chance at conception?
What do you have to lose?
$18, I guess.
That's exactly how much Donny had when he died.

Ball shammy.
For polishing.
It will cause envy.
Possibly, a date for Wednesday.
With that aforementioned SLF?
Use both hands.
Pump vigorously.
After polishing belly-shake optional.
Liam endorses it.
Hear it for yourself.
Only $15!

Jin-gle-Bells,
Je-sus-Thursts,
Li-am-stays-qui-et.

Bush-League-Shit,
Wal-Ter's-Fit,
AND-DON-NIE-PASSED-A-WAY-HEY!

Happy Happies to all.[TQ]

The Dude Marked It!

I happen to own a bowling pin.
It's well documented.

Envious?
Don't be.
Get one.
<-- This pin.

My pin,
which is NOT autographed by Jeff Bridges,
cost me $1.

<-- This pin is free.
Yours to win.
The official rules were posted.
Don't bother calling Burkhalter.

Not very long story shorter:
Watch The Achievers: The Story of Lebowski Fans
Answer the ten questions
Earn yourself a chance at the Pin.[TQ]

Start conceiving!

Please note I have absolutely zero authority in regards to the scheduling of Lebowski Fests.
However, I do pay attention...
Many of the "Annual" Fests occur in July.
The next Louisville Fest will be the 9th Annual.
July is 9 months away.
It takes 9 months, normally, to bring a pregnancy to term.

Start trying to help your Special Lady Friend Conceive![TQ]

An Interesting Costume Trend of the Lebowski Fest Speed of Sound Tour

It finally dawned on me.
Just now.

"Oh man, my thinking about this case, had become very uptight. Yeah."

It began back in Los Angeles (fittingly enough) when a man dressed up as Bunny:



And then, the Achiever Women responded!
2009, on a personal level, will be the year of the Shesus.
A woman won Best Jesus in Minneapolis.
Another girl made us all wish we had a date on Wednesday:

(Oh, and don't forget the Shomer Shabb-ASS of Wham Bam Pam's Walter Sobchick)

Today, while looking at the pics from Lebowski Fest D.C. - another first:


That's marvelous.
I don't know who this Jackie Feehorn is, but I certainly hopes she treats objects like men, WOMAN![TQ]

A Tubbed Dude

I literally said aloud, "wow" when I first saw this picture.
The creativity of Achievers never fails to impress me.
Especially when I think I've seen it all before, this Dude in NY totally (and thankfully) proves me wrong:

I wouldn't be surprised if he had a hidden sound system playing Songs of the Whale.[TQ]

Calmer than you are

Walters came in all shapes, sizes, and genders to the second Bowling Party in Chicago.[TQ]

Best Jesus at Lebowski Fest Chicago Bowling Night 2: The Duel!

The "Best Jesus" from the First Lebowski Fest in Chicago (March 2008) was not exactly a lightweight. You can see his antics prominently showcased in Eddie Chung's The Achievers.

When he strutted (and he most certainly had the Quintana walk perfected) into Diversey River Bowl to defend his title, I don't think he expected the competition to be as good - or as sexy:





Maria May I, did win over the crowd (and me as well), but sadly finished as the runner up. Thankfully for us all, it didn't stop her from dancing.



If you thought these moves were good - I implore you to catch one of the two newly added performances of "Rollin' Outta Here Naked" by Vaudezilla (including this very same Jesus)![TQ]