Is this your only I.D.?

Lebowski Fest Chicago starts this Friday and I'm getting very excited, the best way to describe the feeling might be:
The complete opposite feeling of a Jack-Daniels-drunken Nihilist passed out in a Bunny-side-Pool.

Late last night I e-mailed the Founding Dudes, volunteering my what-have-you skill set because the Fest is rather close to where I live. This isn't the first time I'm offered aid - usually they tell me they have it covered. The Founding Dudes are pros at this - a Swiss fucking Watch.

But they said they might need my help at the door.
HELP AT THE DOOR!
Fair warning, tell Walter

Here's a couple things you can expect to see if I'm working the will call desk for example:
"Is this your only ID?" when someone tries to prove who they are (expect this said in record volume).
"Over the line!" when someone gets too anty and cuts in front of another Achiever.

Here's a couple more gems I might throw out if I'm ripping ticket stubs:
"Fucking dog has fucking papers" when someone hands me a computer print out ticket.
"I can see your anxious for me to get to the point" if I happen to be distracted or delayed somehow.
"It don't matter to Jesus!" if someone thanks me at any point.

Okay, so that last example is rather lame and not in proper context... Which is why I'm really hoping some of the attendees throw it right back at me....

Suggestions:
"Who am I? Who am I? I'm the guy that's gonna KICK-" when I ask for your name at Will Call.
If a special lady friend coos "Your not blowing" while my head is down buried in a pile of names I'm going to probably give someone a High-5.

Who am I kidding? Any reference anybody attempts to throw at me is going to be awesome. Can't wait to see you all there!

Tickets are going quickly, especially with the locals looking ahead to the upcoming weekend. Don't delay and go get your tickets now![TQ]